If you're a single young woman (like me) you'd know that these next few months are going to be painful. Snow is falling. It's cold...piercing cold. The fire is burning and the kettle is whistling. Did I mention how cold it is? This is a time of the year when the lonely get lonelier. Well, instead of sulking like a little baby because you have no significant other to give you love on Christmas day, I came up with a list of things for you to do.
1. Work Out
Specifically to "Work B*tch" by Britney Spears. If this song doesn't pump you up to get that "hot body" that she promises in the song, then I don't know what will. Let's be real here, you need to get that confidence back that you once had when being single wasn't a big deal. Get that sexy bod that you've always wanted because frankly, you have so much time on your hands so why not use that time to exercise? Working out will even give you an excuse to not hang out with your friends who have boyfriends. "Oh, sorry. I'm going to the gym so I can't third wheel with you tonight. Maybe next time." Sounds legit to me!
2. Pig Out
Ok ok. I know I said you need to work out but let's snap back to reality. You probably won't work out. And I say that because I know I won't. If we have no one to show off our sexy new bods to then why even bother? It's time to wake and bake...cookies, that is. Wanna know what's the best thing about being single over the holidays? You got more junk food to yourself! You don't have to share with anyone! That even includes you Santa! None for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners either.
3. Shop 'til You Drop!
Now, I'm not too fond of shopping (crazy, right?) but think of it this way: You have more money to spend...on yourself! It's like your candy. No sharing is required! But before you get carried away, I am going to advise you to perhaps donate some of your cash flow to a charity. You DO have the extra money, so why not? And c'mon, you'll feel good about yourself! AND HEY, you can eventually tell your future bf that you one time gave money to charity during Christmas! You little angel, you! *whispers* It's a win-win.
4. Listen to Music
To be more specific, listen to "Blue Christmas" immediately followed by "Single Ladies". This one is self-explanatory. Just do it. Then do it again.
5. Don't Shave
Because guuuuurrrrl, you don't have to! Why shave when no one will even see it anyway! This calls for a celebration!
The pains of having to shave cannot even be described in words. And instead of trying to explain, let me do you a favour by giving you a GIFt (see what I did there?) of this handsome man shaving/razoring HIS legs. Because, why not? (You're welcome).
Because we don't have to shave anymore, we have that extra 2 hours to do something else! Watch a movie on Netflix or something! Speaking of Netflix: stay on Netflix all day, every day. And by that I literally mean 24/7. Trust me, you need something to tune out the fact that you're alone this holiday season and what better way to do that than immersing yourself in a fictional (or non-fictional if you like documentaries or reality t.v.) person's life? If you don't have Netflix, then watch free movies/shows online. Or turn on your t.v. Or put in some DVDs or VHS tapes. Just DO NOT go to the movie theatre. That place is craaaawling with couples during the holidays. And we all know we definitely don't want to see that, am I right? Can I get an AMEN?
Now I know how it feels to be alone during the holidays but you need to listen to me when I say, don't fall into desperation! You will survive this holiday season a strong, independent woman! And trust me, the men feel lonely too. But don't buy into their (sweet) words! Walk away! Just walk awaaaay!
All joking aside, the main focus of the holiday season should initially be about family. Whether you live at home, are home for the holidays, or live in a far away land, spend as much QUALITY time as you can with your family. Call, video chat, or book the next flight to your parents' town! We'll have plenty of time to sulk over being single once Valentine's Day rolls around...in 2 months...greaaaat.
Thanks for reading! If this list made you smile, then that's a plus! :)
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